Crossing the Equator and King Neptune’s Ceremony

There is a seagoing tradition (well, there are many seagoing traditions really) that occurs when one crosses the equator on a ship for the first time. I thought it was just a Holland America Line tradition, but found out it’s actually all ships including cargo ships and other cruise lines. We get off easy, in fact. We are told to wear our grubbiest clothing and then to meet in the crow’s Nest at 2:00pm, after which various strange characters show up and tie us all together with very strong rope. We are marched down to the lido, by pirates, put into a cage in the pool and then, with 700+ passengers and crew watching – we are tormented one by one. The “judge”; more commonly known as our cruise director, Peter, introduces King Neptune and our Queen of the Mermaids. They take their seats at the throne and the judge proceeds to read off the offences/ of each of the persons in our prison. Each department has newbies that must go through this ceremony, an email is sent and we all persons who have never crossed the equator have to participate. The judge asks for King Neptune and the Mermaid Queen’s opinion and you are then sent to the doctors, nurses and pirates to be covered with the utmost disgusting slop you can imagine. Green slime, orange beanlike muck, anchovies and eggs consist of much of the artillery. Lisa of the cruise staff and I, were saved until the very end and got the worst of it, because we are the most public figures. Also, they had to use everything that was left over and I had egg yolk in my ear for two days even after 8 showers. The jury decides your fate after you’ve been to the tables. The jury is made up of the captain, the officers and the hotel manager. Thumbs up means you must stay poolside, thumbs down means you are thrown into the pool. I was thrown in, (thankfully, the smell was disgusting). Next time we cross the Equator, I plan to be a doctor or nurse.